ILLINOIS DIVORCE LAW BLOG

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Years ago, I helped write and edit elements of Bill Eddy’s landmark book Splitting that offered readers, for the first time, guidance and understanding of personality disorders in the context of a high conflict divorce. Today, Bill continues to educate and help other navigate the difficulties of parenting and divorcing with a HCP (high conflict person).

“In this episode, Megan Hunter dives into the world of high conflict personalities.  Megan takes the opportunity to answer listener questions and provide valuable insights on identifying and dealing with individuals who exhibit high conflict behaviors. Throughout the episode, she offers practical strategies for managing these challenging interactions and maintaining your own well-being. Understanding the Five Types of High Conflict Personalities Megan begins by explaining the five high conflict personality types: those who fear feeling inferior, abandoned, ignored, dominated, and paranoid. She emphasizes that while each type has unique traits, they all share a common pattern of behavior driven by fear. By understanding these underlying fears, listeners can develop more effective approaches to communicating and setting boundaries with high conflict individuals. Navigating Family Dynamics with High Conflict Personalities One listener asks for guidance on dealing with a high conflict family member who acts as an “emotional bully.”

https://youtu.be/NQ03AdVB-uY?si=5bIaoM1v0ujVfaA1

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The issue of cohabitation in Illinois divorce cases is an interesting one.  Sometimes, a spouse that is receiving maintenance support engages in a relationship with a third party after the divorce. The payor spouse many times feels a bit cheated, in that a former spouse (payee)  receives financial support while at the same time dating someone exclusively and sharing their home with him/her.  In Mattson, a former husband felt burned that he was paying support to his ex-wife while she was engaging in a lengthy relationship with a Chicago sportscaster. The former husband hired private investigators to watch the former wife’s house. Former husband brought his case to Court.

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Marriage of Mattson: 2024 IL App (3d) 230307-U

Section 510(c) of the Dissolution Act provides that, “Unless otherwise agreed by the parties ***, the obligation to pay future maintenance is terminated upon the death of either party, or the remarriage of the party receiving maintenance, or if the party receiving maintenance cohabits with another person on a resident, continuing conjugal basis.” 750 ILCS 5/510(c) (West 2022). (Emphasis added.)

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Quick Question: What is Parental Alienation?

Parental alienation refers to a situation where one parent deliberately influences their child to reject, fear, or show hostility toward the other parent. This can happen through manipulation, badmouthing the other parent, or restricting contact between the child and the other parent. The goal of the alienating parent is often to damage the child’s relationship with the other parent, often during or after a divorce or separation.

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Parental alienation can have serious emotional and psychological impacts on children. It can distort their understanding of family dynamics and cause long-term issues like anxiety, depression, and relationship difficulties. It is also harmful to the parent who is being alienated, as it disrupts their relationship with their child.

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Valuing a small business in a divorce can be complex and often involves several methods. Here are some common approaches:

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  1. Income Approach:
    • Capitalization of Earnings: This method estimates future profits and applies a capitalization rate to determine the business’s value.
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Reunification therapy is a specialized form of therapy that focuses on repairing relationships between estranged family members. It is often used in cases of parental alienation, high conflict divorce, or other situations where family bonds between parents and children have been damaged.

The goal of reunification therapy is to:

  • Rebuild trust: Help family members rebuild trust and communication.
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How do you know it is parental alienation—and not justified rejection and estrangement?

In a case where a child rejects contact with a parent, a psychological evaluator or skilled GAL can determine if the rejection is unwarranted, which is called parental alienation, by making a thorough investigation of the empirical facts over time. If the child has a legitimate reason to reject a parent, it is called estrangement. There are in my experience cases where both factors can exist: a targeted parent is being alienated and then acts in negative ways with the child that solidify the estrangement.

An evaluator can use the Five-Factor Model to identify and diagnose parental alienation. If the answer, after thorough and qualified investigation, to all five questions below is yes, it is most probably a case of moderate or severe parental alienation.

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PASG Conference for Members:

September 4-6, 2024 in Oslo, Norway
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Dear Michael Roe:

We at Parental Alienation Study Group anxiously await our upcoming world conference in Oslo, Norway. The program looks great and final preparations are being made! We hope to see you in beautiful Oslo during September 4-6, 2024.

For PASG members as well as students, the registration fee is 1,000 Norwegian kroner, which is about USD $100. Full conference tickets for everyone else is NOK 3,500.

If you are unable to attend in person, Digital Participation (streaming) will cost you NOK 1,500. But, sign up soon!
Here’s the website for the conference:

https://www.pasg.no/konferanse-2024

You may also find this link on the PASG website:

https://www.pasg.info/events

Thank you, and we hope to see you in Oslo!
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Surviving a marriage with a spouse who has narcissistic personality traits can be incredibly challenging. Many of my cases through the years have involved the opposing spouse with traits of NPD, or BPD, or traits of comorbidity of both. Here are some strategies to help navigate this difficult situation:

1. Educate Yourself

  • Understanding Narcissism: Learn about narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) to understand the behaviors and traits associated with it.
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Confusion still reigns with respect to the tax treatment of spousal maintenance for Illinois divorce cases. I still see other law firms discussing online spousal maintenance (support) using the old rules.

In Illinois, spousal maintenance (also known in other states as alimony) is generally not tax-deductible for the payor nor taxable income for the recipient. This change came into effect due to the Tax Cuts and Jobs Act (TCJA) of 2017, which significantly altered the tax treatment of spousal support (maintenance)  nationwide.

Under the TCJA, for divorce or separation agreements executed after December 31, 2018, maintenance payments are no longer deductible by the person paying the maintenance and are not considered taxable income for the person receiving it. This change applies to federal taxes and, in most states including Illinois, state taxes follow federal guidelines on this matter.

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Introducing children to a new romantic partner, or “paramour,” during or after a divorce is a delicate matter that should be approached with careful consideration and sensitivity to the children’s needs and emotions. Here are some factors to consider when determining the appropriate timing for such introductions:

  1. Stability and Adjustment: It’s generally recommended to wait until the divorce process has reached a point where the children have had time to adjust to the changes in their family dynamics and establish a sense of stability. Rushing into introductions too soon can add additional stress and emotional harm for children still grappling with the divorce.
  2. Seriousness of the Relationship: Introducing children to a new partner should be reserved for relationships that are serious and highly likely to endure. Children can be deeply harmed  by the comings and goings of romantic partners, so it’s important to be very mindful about the emotional impact of introducing them to someone who may not turn out to be a long-term presence in their lives.
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1005 Lincoln Hwy
#200
DeKalb, IL 60115
Phone: (331) 222-9161 Fax: (630) 797-2001
25 N River Ln
#130
Geneva, IL 60134

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