ILLINOIS DIVORCE LAW BLOG

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It’s the new year, and a client with a new case just filed emails me to understand what the next steps are in his/her case. Even though the case may feel brand new to a new litigant, financial disclosure comes up quickly. Illinois divorces typically require a Financial Affidavit, which details income, expenses, assets, and debts.

Encourage readers to start gathering:

  • Pay stubs and tax returns
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What is neurodivergence? 

Neurodivergent means in layman’s terms that a person’s brain works differently, including their processing of sensory input and output. Neurodivergent children may have conditions such as autism spectrum disorder, sensory processing disorders, apraxia, dyslexia, bipolar disorder, and attention deficient disorder. Neurodivergent people also tend to be visual thinkers and innovators, and they contribute significantly to our society.

Scientist, autism advocate, and best-selling author Temple Grandin wrote many books on her life experience as a neurodivergent person, which include stories about how challenging traditional school and day-to-day life was for her.9 Grandin emphasized the need for children to have hands-on learning experiences: “We need to be getting kids out working on real things. We got water systems falling apart, electrical wires falling out and causing fires. There’s all kinds of practical problems we need to be solving and visual thinkers are really good at that.”10

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Going through a divorce is undoubtedly one of life’s most challenging experiences, not only for you but also for your children. As a parent, your priority is ensuring your children feel secure, loved, and supported, even as your family dynamic shifts. In Illinois, where family law emphasizes the best interests of the child, maintaining stability and consistency during the divorce process is critical. This blog post offers practical tips for parenting through a divorce, helping you create a nurturing environment for your children during this transitional time.
Why Stability and Consistency Matter:
Children thrive on predictability. Divorce can disrupt their sense of normalcy, leading to feelings of confusion, anxiety, or insecurity. By prioritizing stability and consistency, you can help your children feel grounded, even as their world changes. Illinois courts often consider how parents support their children’s emotional and physical well-being when making decisions about parenting time and responsibilities, so your efforts to maintain a stable environment can also positively influence your case. Here are actionable strategies to support your children during the divorce process:
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Many of our family law cases necessarily involve the appointment by the Court of a GAL or Child’s Representative. Sometimes, there is some question or confusion about the role of the GAL vs. that of the Child’s Rep.

In Illinois family law, under the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act (IMDMA), a Guardian ad Litem (GAL) and a Child’s Representative are two distinct roles appointed by the court to represent the best interests of a child in family law proceedings, such as custody (allocation of parental responsibilities) disputes. While both roles focus on the child’s best interests, their functions, authority, and approach differ significantly. Below is a detailed comparison: Guardian ad Litem (GAL)

  • Definition: A GAL is an attorney or trained professional appointed by the court to investigate and advocate for the child’s best interests in a family law case. The GAL acts as the “eyes and ears” of the court, gathering information and making recommendations.
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The custody evaluator is a neutral, court-appointed professional (often a licensed psychologist) tasked with conducting an independent clinical evaluation to provide the court with objective information regarding the child(ren)’s best interests. Their role is to assess the family system dynamics, parenting abilities, and the child’s needs to make recommendations about:

  1. Allocation of Parental Responsibilities: This includes decision-making authority (e.g., education, healthcare, religion, extracurricular activities) and parenting time schedules.
  2. Best Interests of the Child: The evaluator focuses on factors outlined in 750 ILCS 5/602.5 (for decision-making) and 750 ILCS 5/602.7 (for parenting time), such as the child’s adjustment to home and community, the parents’ ability to cooperate, any history of abuse or neglect, and the child’s preferences (if age-appropriate).
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Understanding Dissipation of Marital Assets in an Illinois Divorce: In Illinois divorce cases, the concept of dissipation of marital assets can significantly impact the division of property.
            Dissipation refers to one spouse’s wasteful or improper use of marital assets for purposes unrelated to the marriage, often to the detriment of the other spouse. Understanding this concept is crucial for ensuring a fair division of property during divorce proceedings. Under Illinois law, specifically the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act, marital assets are divided equitably, not necessarily equally.
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           Dissipation occurs when one spouse uses marital funds or property for uniquely personal benefit, unrelated to marital purposes, typically after the marriage has begun to break down irretrievably. Common examples include extravagant spending on items that are exclusive to the purchasing spouse (such as an expensive watch), gambling, funding an affair (travel, dinners, jewelry for a paramour), or transferring assets to hide them from the other spouse. For instance, if one spouse uses marital savings for lavish vacations or gifts to a third party after the marriage   deteriorates, this could be considered dissipation. 
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Why High-Conflict Divorces with a Narcissist Are So Difficult
Divorcing a narcissist is uniquely challenging, often escalating into high-conflict scenarios that drain emotional, financial, and mental resources. Narcissistic personality traits (NPD)—such as grandiosity, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy—create a perfect storm of obstacles that make these divorces particularly difficult.
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Understanding why these situations are so difficult requires examining the narcissist’s behavior, their impact on the legal process, and the emotional toll on the other spouse. First, narcissists thrive on control and validation, which makes them resistant to compromise. In a divorce, where negotiation and cooperation are often necessary, a narcissist may view any concession as a personal defeat. They may prolong disputes over assets, custody, or minor details to maintain control or punish their spouse.
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Toxic narcissists often use gaslighting in divorce cases to manipulate their spouses and maintain control. Gaslighting—a form of psychological abuse where the narcissist distorts reality to make their spouse doubt their perceptions, memory, or sanity—serves several purposes in this context:
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  1. Power and Control: Narcissists thrive on dominance. By gaslighting, they undermine their spouse’s confidence, making them question their decisions, such as pursuing the divorce or asserting their rights. This can weaken the spouse’s resolve and give the narcissist leverage in negotiations or court proceedings.
  2. Deflecting Blame: Narcissists rarely accept fault. Gaslighting allows them to rewrite events, portraying themselves as the victim or denying their abusive behavior. For example, they might claim their spouse’s accusations of infidelity or emotional abuse are exaggerated or imagined, shifting focus from their actions.
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Parental alienation is often described in terms of three levels or degrees, which reflect the severity of the alienating behaviors and their impact on the child’s relationship with the targeted parent. These levels were notably outlined by  experts like Dr. Amy J. L. Baker. Here’s a breakdown:
  1. Mild Parental Alienation
    • Description: The child exhibits mild resistance or reluctance to spend time with the targeted parent but still maintains a relationship. The alienating parent may subtly undermine the other parent through occasional negative comments, scheduling conflicts, or mild interference.
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Parental alienation is a serious concern in divorce and child custody cases, particularly in Illinois, where courts prioritize the best interests of the child. It occurs when one parent intentionally or unintentionally manipulates a child to reject, fear, or distance themselves from the other parent, damaging their relationship. This behavior can have profound emotional and psychological effects on both the child and the targeted parent, often complicating custody arrangements and parenting time disputes. Understanding how Illinois law addresses parental alienation is crucial for parents navigating divorce or custody proceedings.
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In Illinois, parental alienation is not explicitly defined as a standalone legal term but is recognized as a form of emotional abuse that undermines a child’s well-being. Courts view it as contrary to the child’s best interests, as it disrupts the fundamental right to a loving relationship with both parents. The Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act (750 ILCS 5/) emphasizes the importance of both parents fostering a close and continuing relationship with their child. When one parent engages in alienating behaviors—such as disparaging the other parent, interfering with parenting time, or manipulating the child’s perceptions—the court may intervene to protect the child and the targeted parent’s rights.

Signs of parental alienation include a child expressing unjustified disdain or hatred toward one parent, mimicking the alienating parent’s negative sentiments, refusing visitation without valid reason, or showing unreasonable fear of the targeted parent. These behaviors often stem from actions like bad-mouthing, false accusations, or limiting contact with the other parent. Illinois courts rely on evidence, such as documentation, police reports,  witness testimony in court appointed GALs, or evaluations from mental health professionals, to identify alienation. 
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