ILLINOIS DIVORCE LAW BLOG

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Reunification therapy is a specialized form of therapy that focuses on repairing relationships between estranged family members. It is often used in cases of parental alienation, high conflict divorce, or other situations where family bonds between parents and children have been damaged.

The goal of reunification therapy is to:

  • Rebuild trust: Help family members rebuild trust and communication.
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How do you know it is parental alienation—and not justified rejection and estrangement?

In a case where a child rejects contact with a parent, a psychological evaluator or skilled GAL can determine if the rejection is unwarranted, which is called parental alienation, by making a thorough investigation of the empirical facts over time. If the child has a legitimate reason to reject a parent, it is called estrangement. There are in my experience cases where both factors can exist: a targeted parent is being alienated and then acts in negative ways with the child that solidify the estrangement.

An evaluator can use the Five-Factor Model to identify and diagnose parental alienation. If the answer, after thorough and qualified investigation, to all five questions below is yes, it is most probably a case of moderate or severe parental alienation.

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PASG Conference for Members:

September 4-6, 2024 in Oslo, Norway
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Dear Michael Roe:

We at Parental Alienation Study Group anxiously await our upcoming world conference in Oslo, Norway. The program looks great and final preparations are being made! We hope to see you in beautiful Oslo during September 4-6, 2024.

For PASG members as well as students, the registration fee is 1,000 Norwegian kroner, which is about USD $100. Full conference tickets for everyone else is NOK 3,500.

If you are unable to attend in person, Digital Participation (streaming) will cost you NOK 1,500. But, sign up soon!
Here’s the website for the conference:

https://www.pasg.no/konferanse-2024

You may also find this link on the PASG website:

https://www.pasg.info/events

Thank you, and we hope to see you in Oslo!
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Surviving a marriage with a spouse who has narcissistic personality traits can be incredibly challenging. Many of my cases through the years have involved the opposing spouse with traits of NPD, or BPD, or traits of comorbidity of both. Here are some strategies to help navigate this difficult situation:

1. Educate Yourself

  • Understanding Narcissism: Learn about narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) to understand the behaviors and traits associated with it.
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Confusion still reigns with respect to the tax treatment of spousal maintenance for Illinois divorce cases. I still see other law firms discussing online spousal maintenance (support) using the old rules.

In Illinois, spousal maintenance (also known in other states as alimony) is generally not tax-deductible for the payor nor taxable income for the recipient. This change came into effect due to the Tax Cuts and Jobs Act (TCJA) of 2017, which significantly altered the tax treatment of spousal support (maintenance)  nationwide.

Under the TCJA, for divorce or separation agreements executed after December 31, 2018, maintenance payments are no longer deductible by the person paying the maintenance and are not considered taxable income for the person receiving it. This change applies to federal taxes and, in most states including Illinois, state taxes follow federal guidelines on this matter.

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Introducing children to a new romantic partner, or “paramour,” during or after a divorce is a delicate matter that should be approached with careful consideration and sensitivity to the children’s needs and emotions. Here are some factors to consider when determining the appropriate timing for such introductions:

  1. Stability and Adjustment: It’s generally recommended to wait until the divorce process has reached a point where the children have had time to adjust to the changes in their family dynamics and establish a sense of stability. Rushing into introductions too soon can add additional stress and emotional harm for children still grappling with the divorce.
  2. Seriousness of the Relationship: Introducing children to a new partner should be reserved for relationships that are serious and highly likely to endure. Children can be deeply harmed  by the comings and goings of romantic partners, so it’s important to be very mindful about the emotional impact of introducing them to someone who may not turn out to be a long-term presence in their lives.
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My practice has managed successfully cases dealing with NPD traits for many years. People with toxic narcissistic traits can cause a lot of harm and damage in a marriage and with children. In a divorce, people with toxic narcissistic traits can continue their self-centered toxicity, blaming, gaslighting, and other harmful behaviors. Narcissists can present significant challenges in a marriage, as well as a divorce, due to their characteristic traits which often include:

  1. Lack of Empathy: Narcissists typically have difficulty understanding or empathizing with their partner’s feelings and perspectives. This can lead to emotionally abusive behaviors.
  2. Self-Centeredness: Narcissists tend to prioritize their own needs, desires, and achievements above those of their partner and children. This self-centeredness can lead to a one-sided relationship dynamic where the narcissist’s needs are consistently prioritized over their spouse’s, sometimes to the point of abuse.
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One aspect of the divorce case I take seriously is managing the request to the judge for a guardian ad litem in a contested parenting dispute.  Sometimes, there are behavioral and psychological issues in a divorce with one of the parents, that can impact the ability of that parent to safely care for the child or children. A guardian ad litem (GAL) plays a crucial role in divorce cases, particularly when the interests of children are involved. Here’s how they typically assist the court:

  1. Representing the Best Interests of the Child: The primary role of a GAL is to advocate for the best interests of the child or children involved in the divorce. They serve as the voice of the child in court proceedings, ensuring that their needs, wishes, and welfare are considered.
  2. Investigation and Assessment: GALs conduct thorough investigations into the family dynamics, including the living conditions, relationships between the parents and the child, and any other factors that may impact the child’s well-being. This can involve interviewing the child, parents, clinicians, teachers, and other relevant parties, as well as reviewing relevant documents and records.
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I received a call today from a potential client in Illinois whose partner/spouse left the State of Illinois and set up life with the minor children in another state.  As I look back on decades of my Family Law career, I have had a number of similar cases. Sometimes, when a marriage falls apart, a spouse takes the children out of state and goes “home” to where he or she grew up and has family locally. In this situation, sometimes the spouses will file a divorce case is two different states. How does the law handle and reconcile the fact that parents have filed in two states?  This is where the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act (UCCJEA) comes in: it is a nationally (except for Massachusetts) adopted statute that provides a uniform process for Courts to determine where the case should proceed.

  1. Uniformity: Before the UCCJEA, each state in the US had its own laws regarding child custody jurisdiction. This lack of uniformity often led to conflicting custody orders and forum shopping, where parents would try to file for custody in a state they believed would rule in their favor. The UCCJEA provides consistent rules for determining which state has jurisdiction over child custody matters, promoting fairness and predictability in custody disputes across state lines.
  2. Child Protection: The primary goal of the UCCJEA is to protect the best interests of the child. By establishing jurisdictional rules based on the child’s home state and prioritizing continuity and stability in custody arrangements, the UCCJEA aims to minimize the disruption and trauma that can result from custody battles.
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Through the decades of practicing divorce and child custody law in Illinois, I have encountered the myriad reasons that a spouse or couple is seeking a divorce.  In some cases, there are serious behavioral issues that make staying together unhealthy for the marriage, and unhealthy for the children. In a minority of time that people meet with me for a complimentary initial consultation, the issues are fixable…for example, young couples that need counseling to learn how to manage conflicts in a marriage. I always encourage fixable family situations to seek counseling or other behavioral health modalities before initiating a divorce process.

As every relationship is unique and complex, some common reasons for considering a divorce include:

  1. Communication issues: Ineffective communication can lead to misunderstandings, resentment, and feelings of being unheard or unappreciated. Communication issues are amenable to counseling and family therapy before a divorce is considered.
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DeKalb, IL 60115
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Geneva, IL 60134

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