Recent published articles in the New York Times from Dylan Farrow, and subsequently in rebuttal Woody Allen, have brought into the light allegations that have arisen from what appears to have been a highly dysfunctional family environment. My reading of the articles, some of the trial evidence, as well as…
On January 14, a new law went into effect in Illinois that allows judges to order a “right of first refusal” for parents who share joint custody of their children. The right of first refusal (ROFR) means that any time one parent cannot care for the children during his or…
The cost of a divorce can be a deterrent to the process for many couples who are already struggling with the expense of maintaining two separate households. The amount of property one owns, child custody and support issues, and the extent to which a couple agrees or disagrees will determine…
Is Divorce Mediation for You? Are you wondering: • What is the most informed way, at the least expense, to get divorced? • Would I do better in mediation or in court? • What are the basic standards on parenting plans, child support, spousal support and property division (based on…
Family therapist Diane Shearer says we should look beyond the questions about divorce and get at what kids are really asking for. “When kids ask tough questions, they aren’t looking for complicated answers. They are looking for affirmation, not information.” This means they want to be assured that you love…
1. “I am thankful for becoming the person that I am. I’ve learned so much along the way. Even the pain served a purpose.” -Amber L. 2. “I’m thankful for my self-respect.” -Tom H. 3. “I’m thankful the two of us were able to rebuild our lives. We got out…
What Therapists Don’t Tell You About Divorcing A High-Conflict Personality Therapists are trained to help clients become self-aware and authentic. For people who grew up in invalidating environments, where they learned to suppress their feelings and needs in order to be accepted, therapy can be life-altering. Competent therapists who provide…
Divorce can feel like a full-time job. It can be all-consuming, affecting every aspect of your life. Between the (sometimes) contentious texts with your ex-partner, phone calls to your attorney and figuring out child custody, where you are going to live and how your new life will look, there is…
Falling in love with a person with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is an emotional roller coaster ride. The relationship involves never-ending emotional blackmails, hurtful criticisms, threats, manipulations, verbal attacks and silent treatments. Borderlines are known to call you at work more than 20 times in a day. Borderlines need constant…
1. Fight as hard as you can to get the most time possible from the very start. Whether you want the kids to live with you (as primary residential custodial parent) or you simply want to have an “aggressive” visitation access schedule, be clear about your goals and push for…