Articles Posted in Collaborative Divorce

You’ve probably heard horror stories from friends and acquaintances who’ve had expensive, ugly divorces, right? Maybe you’ve also heard from some who feel better about the process because they didn’t go the slash-and-burn route, but used divorce mediation instead.

Divorce mediation is a process in which a neutral third person, called a mediator, sits down for a series of meetings with a divorcing couple to help them reach an agreement about things like property, custody, and support. Most couples arrive at agreements they can live with-which means they don’t have to fight it out in court. Mediation offers many advantages over court battles.

Unless you’re one of those fortunate few divorcing people who can negotiate directly with your spouse with a minimum of acrimony to come to an agreement about dividing property and parenting your children, divorce mediation may be a great option for you.

I receive a fair numer of calls from individuals looking for a lower cost, lower stress means of pursuing their divorce. Some people report that they want mediation, and describe for me what sounds like Collaborative or Cooperative divorce, and vice versa. Despite the sometimes confusion, one point is clear: people are looking for a better path to take that the traditional bitterly litigated divorce. While mediation is helpful, and favored by Illinois judges, Collaborative and Cooperative divorce practice presents some advantages

Mediation and collaborative practice are two very different practices, but they both have at heart the same sensibility: resolving difficult family disputes in a lower conflict manner. The Oklahoma Family Law Blog highlighted these practices in a recent post, on which I have summarized and commented further:

In mediation, there is one ‘neutral’ who helps the disputing parties try to settle their case. The mediator cannot give either party legal advice, and cannot help either side advocate its position. If one side or the other becomes unreasonable or stubborn, or lacks negotiating skill, or is emotionally distraught, the mediation can become unbalanced. A well trained mediator can try to help bring the parties back to the center, and facilitate resolution of disputes that the parties view as unresolvable. However, some mediations end without a resolution, and the parties return to court with no perceived options left but litigation.

Of my clients that smartly utilize the collaborative or cooperative model of divorce (ie low conflict) I usually don’t see a need for therapy or transition counseling during a divorce. Some of my clients do benefit, however, from contact with an experienced therpaist skilled in divorce, family conflict, and co-parenting counseling.

Divorce can be an isolating. Divorce is change. Divorce is transition. Divorce can be anxiety-producing, even frightening. My office neighbor, Rhonda Kelloway, LCSW, speaks of the role of a therapist as a “professional, caring companion through this difficult stage in your life journey.” Rhonda speaks of goal setting and charting a course to help her clients reach the goals that they desire for themselves for the future. “My goal,” Rhonda says, “is to help you get back to your best life as quickly as possible.” I like this approach, and have always felt that my clients in the difficult transition of divorce have benefited from counseling.

Rhonda Kelloway can be reached at 630-569-0822.

There has been a lot of recent attention and requests for the non-court collaborative divorce from some very smart and informed people in DuPage, DeKalb and Kane counties recently. What are the benefits to a collaborative model? Read some of the reasons below:

Lower Cost

The collaborative process is generally less costly and time-consuming than litigation.

Many divorces take too long and cost too much. Isn’t this the lament of so many people…the divorce dragged on, the lawyers fought over everything, the court status hearings were much ado about nothing?

For divorcing couples, one way to achieve a divorce without the acrimony, the time, and the cost is the collaborative divorce. The Law Offices of Michael F. Roe practices and recommends collaborative divorce. What is collaborative divorce?
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