Illinois Divorce Lawyer Blog
I receive many calls from men and women in toxic relationships with people that have narcissistic personalities. Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a personality disorder in which a person is excessively preoccupied with personal adequacy, power, prestige and vanity, mentally unable to see the destructive damage they are causing to themselves and often others. It is a DSM cluster B personality disorder.
One important tactic in dealing with a narcissist is proper boundary setting. This must be done carefully, and with skill and training, but it is necessary in order to defuse anger and chaos in the home. Preston Ni has published a set of methods for dealing with a narcissist, one of which includes boundary setting.
Know Your Rights and Set Boundaries:
No matter how charming, persuasive, or coercive the narcissist comes across, be aware of how far the narcissist has absorbed you (physically, emotionally, and/or materially), and where your own identity and individuality need to emerge. Since a narcissist will often see you as a mere extension of him or herself, it’s crucial to remember your own humanity when dealing with them. Importantly, remind yourself of these fundamental human rights:
You have the right to be treated with respect.
You have the right to express your feelings, opinions and wants.
You have the right to set your own priorities.
You have the right to say “no” without feeling guilty.
You have the right to get what you pay for.
You have the right to have opinions different than others.
You have the right to take care of and protect yourself from being threatened physically, mentally or emotionally.
You have the right to create your own happy and healthy life.
If you wish guidance on how to stay in a relationship with a narcissist, this is a helpful article:http://www.wikihow.com/Deal-with-a-Narcissist . If you need help with a divorce from a narcissistic personality, please contact my office for a free initial consultation, and information as to how my firm manages these complex cases with skill and experience.