Illinois Divorce Lawyer Blog
Years ago, I helped write and edit elements of Bill Eddy’s landmark book Splitting that offered readers, for the first time, guidance and understanding of personality disorders in the context of a high conflict divorce. Today, Bill continues to educate and help other navigate the difficulties of parenting and divorcing with a HCP (high conflict person).
“In this episode, Megan Hunter dives into the world of high conflict personalities. Megan takes the opportunity to answer listener questions and provide valuable insights on identifying and dealing with individuals who exhibit high conflict behaviors. Throughout the episode, she offers practical strategies for managing these challenging interactions and maintaining your own well-being. Understanding the Five Types of High Conflict Personalities Megan begins by explaining the five high conflict personality types: those who fear feeling inferior, abandoned, ignored, dominated, and paranoid. She emphasizes that while each type has unique traits, they all share a common pattern of behavior driven by fear. By understanding these underlying fears, listeners can develop more effective approaches to communicating and setting boundaries with high conflict individuals. Navigating Family Dynamics with High Conflict Personalities One listener asks for guidance on dealing with a high conflict family member who acts as an “emotional bully.”
Megan advises using the EAR (Empathy, Attention, Respect) method to connect with the individual and help them regulate their emotions. However, she also stresses the importance of setting clear limits and imposing consequences when necessary to avoid being manipulated or bullied.
Questions we answer in this episode:
• What are the five types of high conflict personalities and how do they differ? • How can I foster a connection with a high conflict individual without enabling their behavior? • What strategies can I use to set boundaries with a high conflict family member? • How should staff and department heads interact with a high conflict council member in a professional setting?
Key Takeaways: 1. High conflict personalities are driven by underlying fears that shape their behavior patterns. 2. The EAR method can help establish a connection and regulate emotions in high conflict situations. 3. Setting clear limits and imposing consequences are crucial for preventing manipulation and bullying. 4. The CARS method and respectful meeting policies are effective tools for managing high conflict individuals in professional settings. This episode offers invaluable insights for anyone struggling to navigate relationships with high conflict personalities. “