ILLINOIS DIVORCE LAW BLOG

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The article below highlights some of the issues and concerns that attach to a divorce after a lengthy marriage. Under Illinois law, retirement assets are divisible between the parties; there is a common practice that IRA’s, 401(k)s and pensions are to be valued as of the date of the divorce, and allocated between the divorcing spouses equitably.

A person’s retirement plan is a lifeline to the future. For many, it is their most important asset, even more emotionally valuable than a house or investment account. With this in mind, it is critical that the identification, valuation, and allocation of all marital assets in a divorce be accomplished properly. Law Offices of Michael Roe has on many occasions, with higher asset estates, worked with skilled and cost effective Divorce Financial Planners to effectuate an allocation model that can be submitted to the court. A properly presented plan that is beneficial to our client can often drive the resolution of the case in the right direction. The article states:

AFTER enduring a divorce four years ago, Mike Miller’s vision for a golden retirement got an unexpected makeover. Mr. Miller had been married for more than 30 years, and now he was single. His longtime dream of a shared retirement was shattered. He was also facing another unwelcome outcome: living in a smaller home and taking fewer vacations.

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Studies confirm that women can suffer economically much more, over time, than men after divorce. You may be receiving child support and spousal support (maintenance), or a combination of the two called in Illinois “unallocated support,” but maintenance is sometimes periodic and reviewable, and you likely cannot rely solely on both these income sources to sustain you and your children. Men that have careers tend to, over time, increase their incomes and save more for future years, while women tend to struggle to maintain an adequate financial roof over their heads over time. Because Illinois’ Supreme Court put a premium on forcing courts to “break all entanglements” after divorce, this has lead some judges to terminate spousal support after but a few years post divorce. At that point, the woman is on her own, financially, in the world. Being mindful of this fact, and preparing for it, is important.

If you are working part-time, see about converting to full-time if your child care needs can be met appropriately and economically. If you need to, update your credentials at a local university or community college. Other suggestions include:

-Positions with work hours during school hours

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Many complex divorce and custody cases involve mediation sessions, appointments with custody evaluators and guardians ad litem, along with stressful court hearings. Sometimes neglected in the process of divorce is consideration for how the children in the family are faring while the divorce is being processed. In my practice, I want my clients to be actively attentive to the emotional and psychological needs and changes that appear in the children, and to be responsive to those needs and changes. Sometimes a good clinician, such as a counselor or therapist, can be very beneficial for children in divorce; if the kids can weather the divorce well, the family as a whole has a better outcome.

So, what kinds of behaviors or appearances should a parent be looking for in their child? Rosalind Sedacca, CCT, has just written on this issue and her checklist is very useful. Check to see if:

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1. They look, behave and talk as they always have.

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Most people have a general sense of what a narcissistic personality is. We meet these types of people in everyday life, from neighbors, to co-workers, to relatives. However, when narcissistic personalities are involved in divorce and custody cases, I often see a toxicity, a malignancy, to these personality types that affects their ability to function as parents, to function under the stress of litigation, and to function without being abusive or toxic to the other spouse. Narcissists can make false allegations, act as parental alienators with children, and take positions in a divorce case that defy fact and logic. My job as an attorney in these cases is to assess the level of dysfunction, and manage the case appropriately so that my clients and the children, are protected.

So, what are narcissists? Melissa Schenker is a writer and consultant that offers some general background on narcissists. Melissa is the author of “Sweet Relief From the Everyday Narcissist.”

Have you heard someone be accused of being a narcissist, but realized that you don’t really know what that means? You know it’s negative. You may think that it probably means someone is egotistical, or self-absorbed. But how do you really know if someone is a narcissist?

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One of the benefits of practicing Divorce and Custody Law is the opportunity to try cases that involve complex issues, the valuation of a spouse’s business interest in a closely held business being one of those complex issues. Along with my work through the years in the areas of psychology, family systems and custody law, I have utilized my experience from MBA school and working in and with businesses to develop skills in managing business and financial issues in divorce litigation.

assets%20thumb.php.jpgLaw Offices of Michael F. Roe has maintained strong relationships with some highly competent Business Valuation experts, that work as consulting and testifying experts in valuation cases. These experts are skilled at assembling the correct financials, and employing valuation protocols that are generally accepted in the business valuation industry. The goal of the use of such an expert is to provide the trial court with an expert opinion as to the appropriate value of the client’s company or shares as of the time of the divorce trial.

Just as important as having a good expert in a case is the ability of the trial lawyer to cross examine the other spouse’s expert (if there is one) as to that expert’s valuation opinions. In that sense, it is my job as a divorce trial lawyer to become as expert in that business valuation approach as the experts I am working with. My goal: optimizing my client’s outcome.

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CPA Ginita Wall has some sound advice for strategies for separating out the emotion in a divorce from the financial outcomes. Attorney Michael Roe has seen, from years in practice interfacing with judges in cases with complex financial issues, that judges are more interested in well managed facts, organized information, and persuasive arguments supported by case law in favor of my client’s positions on allocating cash flows and the marital estate. In other words, strong emotions and allegations of fault play no role in how judges decide the financial aspects of a case. Ms. Wall discusses well, below, some of the advantages in a collaborative process with financial issues in divorce.

” Five Tips for Separating Emotions from Economics in Divorce”

In divorce it is important to focus on the real problems to come up with real solutions. If spouses are at war, they are likely to see each other as the problem and the divorce as the solution. But they won’t get to true resolution until they recognize that simply isn’t true. The real problem is how to divvy everything up in divorce, and divorcing spouses won’t arrive at the best solution for their family until they collaborate on resolving their issues by working together, not against each other.

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I was pleased to have been invited by one of our area’s most competent child custody evaluators to attend the recent “Forensic Forum” in Chicago. Forensic Forum is an invitation-only association that brings together child custody experts in the form of evaluators, judges, guardians ad litem, and custody attorneys. The subject for the meeting was Parental Alienation, and two experienced Cook County judges spoke about their experiences in dealing with Parental Alienation in divorce and custody cases.

How are forensics used in custody cases? Child custody evaluators must employ methods of assembling forensic data including but not limited to: (1) interviews of the parents and children; (2) interviews of those relatives, friends, therapists, teachers, et al., involved with the children determined to be of relevance to the case by the evaluator; (3)Interviews of those collateral witnesses involved with the children determined to be of relevance to the case by the parties; (4) review and assessment of all relevant past and present medical, psychological, and other relevant records; (5) the use of standardized measures of behavioral health, including psychometric tests, structured measures of children’s perceptions of their parents given under standardized and non contaminating conditions; (6) the use of standard measures of psychological health, personality, and parenting capability; (7) close consultation with other experts as conditions dictate; (8) the careful assessment of substance abuse possibilities through all appropriate means including drug testing; (9) the use of all relevant and useful screening measures, where there are allegations of domestic violence, including assessment of police reports, review of CPS reports and determinations; review of hospital and medical records; and careful interviewing of involved mental health professionals; (10) the use of all relevant and useful screening measures, where there are allegations of child sexual abuse, including assessment of police reports, review of CPS reports and determinations; review of hospital and medical records; careful interviewing of involved mental health professionals; and where appropriate, the use of such measures as the Abel Assessment for Sexual Interest.

It is through collaboration between custody evaluators, judges, and attorneys that a community of experts develops to more appropriately manage difficult issues in custody cases such as Parental Alienation, Child Abuse, and other forms of pathology that directly impact the developmental well being of children. Law Offices of Michael F Roe is pleased to be a part of this community.

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From Michael Roe: every so often I will post an interesting commentary on divorce issues here at Illinois Divorce Lawyer Blog. I’m not convinced that men have a necessarily worse time adjusting to divorce; I see in my female clients high levels of stress, grieving, and anxiety. I feel the case can be made that the stressors imposed on men can be different in some ways than those imposed on women, generally. Certainly, men start out a child custody case with the unwritten presumptions in place that child residential custody usually goes to the mother, though the law requires that the Court determine best interests…one reason I’m a shared parenting advocate in many cases. As an aside, I see that both the men and women that I represent in my practice do benefit, along with my work on the legal side of the case, from having a competent therapist to help process issues that arise in divorce.

From the article:

It turns out that in the age-old comparison of the sexes, men seem to be having a more difficult time coping with the dissolution of a marriage. According to a recent study from the Journal of Men’s Health, divorced men are more susceptible to heart disease, high blood pressure, and strokes than married men are – in addition to being 39 percent more likely to commit suicide and engage in risky behavior. Why does this finding exist?

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Actor Jason Patric discusses his custody case with the mother of his child, conceived through in vitro fertilization. Patric had an ongoing relationship with the child’s mother, and acted as a Dad to the child after it was born. Due to California’s current laws relating to custody and IVF, Patric apparently has all of the standing for custody as the anonymous IVF donor, who supplied his genetic material to a sperm bank for money. Patric has further complications as he alleges the mother is actively alienating him from the child.

Some states impose a duty of child support on a father that provides his sperm for an IVF procedure. Efforts are being made to modify the California statute, to allow Dads who intended to be Dads of an IVF child to have legal standing for custody and visitation rights.

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